CHECKERS THE PIRATE
Panel 1: Checkers comes up to Sasha and Elba, (Snark in background)
dressed as a pirate, with a parrot on his shoulder.
He's got a bandana on his head and a peg leg, possibly an earring.
Checkers: 'I've decided to become a pirate, so I'll be feared
Parrot: 'Pieces of Eight!'
Panel 2: Checkers points proudly to his eyepatch, Snark looks
up at Parrot, slurping. Parrot looks down, dismayed.
Checkers: 'Plus, I've already got an eyepatch!'
Panel 1: Sasha to Elba, while in background Checkers is prancing
around piratically, Parrot on his shoulder. Checkers and Parrot's
balloons are smaller.
Sasha: 'You don't see many pirates these days
Elba: 'Oh, they're still around!'
Checkers: 'Blow me down!'
Parrot: 'Awk! Wanna cracker!'
Panel 2: A corpulent corporate raider sits behind a huge desk,
fat cigar in his mouth. Standing behind one shoulder is a yes
man, looking parrot like- Elbows out, beak nose
look almost like he's on the Boss' shoulder).
Boss: 'Phelps, I'm taking over two more companies today!'
Phelps: 'Yessir! Awk! May I have a cracker, sir?'
Panel 1: Sasha asks Checkers, who looks slightly indignant.
From off panel come a few musical notes.
Sasha: 'So, Checkers, now that you're a pirate are you going
to take over a ship?'
Checkers: 'A ship? I'm a land pirate!'
Sound Effect: 3 or 4 musical notes.
Panel 2: Checkers sees an Ice Cream truck, with musical notes.
(Can you make the Ice Cream truck look scared?)
Checkers: 'Belay there!'
Parrot: 'Shiver me timbers!'
Sound Effect: A buncha musical notes, perhaps 'Turkey in the
straw'. (Just joking- I don't expect real music, unless you
Panel 1: Sasha and Snark look very innocent (Haloes?), Checkers
is handing Parrot over to them. Parrot is alarmed.
Sasha: 'We'll watch your parrot while you get that Ice Cream
Checkers: 'Gee, thanks!'
Parrot: 'Awk! Walking the plank!'
Panel 2: Checkers eating a pint of Ice Cream, several empty
containers lie about, a hill of full ones is behind him. Sasha
and Snark look full and contented.
Checkers: 'Want some Ice Cream?'
Sasha: 'No, thanks. We're full.'
Panel 3: Checkers looks worried, Snark belches a feather, which
slowly flutters to the ground.
Checkers: 'Hey, Where's my parrot?'
Panel 1: Checkers sits on his butt, forepaws holding his temples,
brow furrowed in pain. All around him are empty Ice Cream containers.
Sasha is pointing out the obvious.
Checkers: 'I'm gonna have to stop being a pirate- It makes my
Sasha: 'It's 'cause you ate all that freezing cold Ice Cream!'
Panel 2: Close on Checkers, looking relieved.
Checkers: 'Oh, whew! I was worried it was my conscience!'
Panel 3: Checkers munching down some more Ice Cream, a few pain
lines coming from his head.
Sound Effect: 'Chomp! Slurp! Gulp!'
Panel 1: Checkers digging a hole, a pile of Ice Cream containers
nearby. Sasha pokes her head into the panel.
Sasha: 'Whatcha doin'?'
Checkers: 'I'm burying my leftover pirate booty!'
Panel 2: Checkers holds up a badly drawn map, with a prominent
Checkers: (thought balloon) 'Now what should I do with the map?'
Panel 3: Checkers, map in teeth, digs another hole. You can
show it's right next to the first by showing a mound with a
couple of empty ice cream containers next to it.
CHECKERS THE PIRATE, WEEK 2
Panel 1: Sasha and Snark come running excitedly up to Checkers,
Snark is holding a treasure map with her teeth.
Sasha: 'Snark found a treasure map in the backyard!'
Panel 2: Sasha on one side of panel, Checkers on other. Each
have a thought balloon, and they share a word balloon. In Sasha's
thought balloon is a treasure chest overflowing with catfood,
catnip, pillows, cat toys, fish, string
anything a cat
would think of as treasure. In Checkers' thought balloon is
a garbage can overflowing with garbage- bones, old boots and
just generally disgusting stuff.
Checkers/Sasha: 'Wow! Buried Treasure!'
(If this seems too much like that Sunday, 'catfood/dogfood',
substitute Elba for Sasha, and make her Chest full of really
Panel 1: Elba's showed up, and is holding the Treasure map.
Sasha gestures towards the map, Checkers excitedly heads towards
the edge of the panel.
Elba: 'I can't read this Treasure Map.'
Sasha: 'That looks like a tree
Checkers: 'The Park! Lots of trees there!'
Panel 2: They're now in the park, Elba concentrating on the
map, Sasha looks up at a bunch of trees, Checkers runs in circles.
Elba: 'I think it says 10 paces from the tree.'
Checkers: 'We'd better just run in circles and then dig randomly!'
Panel 1: Checkers goes up to a Squirrel, who looks paranoid,
Checkers: 'We're looking for buried treasure
Squirrel: 'Keep away from my nuts man!'
Panel 2: Checkers asks a dog who's splayed over a mound from
which protrudes a bone or two.
Checkers: 'We're looking
Dog: 'They're my bones! Mine!'
Checkers: (Thought balloon) 'It's sad how selfish everyone's
Panel 3: Checkers turns irritatedly towards a Pigeon (or three)
who comes up to him.
Pigeon: 'Spare crumbs?'
Checkers: 'Get a job!'
Panel 1: Sasha looks over at a pigeon or three, licking her
chops. Elba begins to pontificate.
Sasha: 'Are pigeons good?'
Sound Effect: 'Slurp!'
Elba: 'Some consider them vermin, but are we really any better?'
Panel 2: Close on Elba, going on.
Elba: 'Is 'goodness' defined by our productivity, or by how
we treat our fellow creatures?'
Panel 3: Sasha stalks toward a pigeon, while Elba goes on.
Sasha: (thought balloon) 'I'll just have to taste one myself.'
Elba: 'Bla bla bla
Panel 1: Elba unrolls the Map, Sasha points a paw at it.
Elba: 'Let's look at the treasure map again.'
Sasha: 'Hey! This is the backyard!'
Panel 2: Elba, Sasha and Snark are digging away. Sasha is somewhat
dreamily imagining an impressive looking pirate- he could be
next to an overflowing treasure chest. The pirate could have
a peg leg, hook, those blouse things, boots and baggy pants,
whatever you want. Could be a woman pirate, for that matter.
Sasha: 'Wow! Pirates of long ago buried treasure in our backyard!'
Panel 3: Elba recoils in surprise from what she sees in the
hole. Sasha's thought balloon *poof!*s into an image of Checkers
Elba: 'Melted Ice Cream?!!'
Panel 1: Checkers trots up to Sasha and Elba. Sasha thrusts
map at him, Elba has hands on hips. If you can, show the pit
with goop at the bottom.
Sasha: Checkers, this map led us to melted ice cream!'
Checkers: 'So that's where I buried it!'
Panel 2: Elba and Sasha are disappointed, Checkers can hardly
believe their disappointment.
Elba: 'We were expecting doubloons and fine silk!'
Sasha: 'And Catnip!'
(Or 'and fish!' or 'and string!')
Checkers: 'You kidding? This is way better than that stuff!'
Panel 3: Checkers slurping away prom the pit, Sasha and Elba
are a bit grossed out.
(Another end would be the 'Do we have any straws?' line)