Nina Paley's Fluff
The Cat Whisperer
Written by Ian Akin
Drawn by Nina Paley

National Police Week
The Escaped Animals
Terrible Mother (Sunday)
The New Guy
Checkers The Pirate (2 Weeks)
Prey Of The Month (Sunday)
Checkers' Ark (3 Weeks)













Panel 1: At the Vet, Snark looking insane, (leaping and snapping?). Her human is off panel talking to the Vet (Draw whatever's simplest to get across 'vet').
Vet: 'She's just a crazy kitten and we can't do a thing about it.'
Snark's Human: 'But doctor, she's driving me nuts!'
Vet: 'Have you tried alternative medicine?'
Panel 2: Human, shoulders down, carrying cat carrier, through the bars you can see the insane eyes of Snark. She's standing in front of a big sign with a stack of businesses listed.
Sign: 'ACUPUNCTURE for pets'
'AROMATHERAPY' (with skunk icon)
'ROLF! rrrROLF!ing for dogs'
'HIPPOTHERAPY' (with hippopotamus icon)
'ASTROPRACTOR cats welcome'

Panel 1: One panel. A man with a doctor nametag on his pocket reaches his hands towards Snark, who backs away, alarmed. Snark's Human's voice comes from off panel (or draw a bit of her).
Snark's Human: 'Just what is it that an 'Astropractor' does, doctor?'
Astropractor: 'I simply align her vertibrae in conjunction with the stars!'
Astropractor: 'I assume she's a Leo?'

Panel 1: Acupuncturist's hands reach towards Snark, who backs away, fur standing on end. Her human's voice comes from off panel.
Snark's Human: 'Can Acupuncture help Snark's wildness, doctor?'
Acupuncturist: 'Oh, yes, I just stick these needles in certain spots…'
Snark: 'Hsss…'
Panel 2: Sound Effect panel.
Sound Effect: 'Chomp! Bite! Claw!'
Panel 3: Acupuncturist's arm, he's splaying his fingers wide, wiggling his fingers a little. Snark's hanging from the arm, her little teeth and the little claws of her forepaws sunk into it. So cute!
Acupuncturist: 'Wow! My arthritis is gone!'
(Sound Effect: 'Wiggle wiggle' ? You decide…)

Panel 1: Snark's lying on her back on a psychiatrist's couch, the shrink a silhouette in background.
Shrink: 'Tell me about your mother.'
Snark: 'Meow!'
Shrink: 'I see…'
Panel 2: Snark is busily shredding the couch, while Shrink drones on in background.
Shrink: 'Bla bla Id bla bla Freud bla bla Meta-bla bla bla Jung bla ego bla bla …'
(Stick in other psych-buzzwords if you want)
Sound Effect: 'Rip! Shred!'
Panel 3: Snark sits looking crazed, but a bit pleased with herself amongst what's left of the couch (not much). Shrink's voice from off panel.
Shrink: 'It's a healthy sign that you're not repressing your aggressive tendencies.'

Panel 1: Snark is bouncing around, looking wild.
Doctor gestures from one side, Snark's human on other (off panel if you think it'll work).
Doctor: 'This cat is too wild. We're going to have to put her down.'
Snark's Human: 'Gasp! Put her down?!!'
Panel 2: Doctor's hand pointing at Snark, who has her ears back, eyes narrowed in irritation.
Doctor: 'You're a poor excuse for a cat! You're worthless!'
Panel 3: Snark all wild again, like Panel 1. Doctor's voice from off panel.
Doctor: 'It's not working. We'll have to use sarcasm.'

Panel 1: Crazed looking Snark, with a bit of her Human and a bit of a doctor visible.
Doctor: 'I can't help you tame that cat, but I heard of a guy who lives out in the country…'
Panel 2: Silhouette of a man with a big cowboy hat standing on a hill next to a sillhouette of a cat.
Caption: 'He's got a gentle way with a cat, and I hear he can work wonders…'
Panel 3: Man, with much of his face obscured by a large cowboy hat brim, on all fours whispering to a confused cat, who looks at him sideways. Caption towards bottom of panel.
CW: 'Psst! Whisper whisper…'
Caption: 'They call him 'The Cat Whisperer'.'
Cat: '?'

For this strip I see the humans being mostly small in background, in silhouette, or off panel, most of the square inch-age of art being Snark. Hope it works! The movie had too many people and not enough horses.

Panel 1: Title in this panel, or over the whole strip: 'The Cat Whisperer'
In foreground is Snark, clearly berserk, perhaps leaping and snapping. In background is the silhouette of a man in a cowboy hat talking with Snark's human.
CW: 'Don't know if I can help your cat, ma'am.'
Snark's Human: 'Oh, please! I drove a thousand miles to get here!'

Panel 2: Snark in foreground doing anything you want (licking herself?). Same silhouettes in background.
CW: 'Don'tcha live just down the highway?'
S's Human: 'I missed the exit.'

Panel 3: Bigger panel. Snark in FG, humans in BG (Are silhouettes too weird for a third panel? We'll tawk…). Humans are looking at each other with cartoon hearts all over, each has a thought balloon, as does Snark.
CWs thought balloon has an image of Her wearing a cowboy hat, holding a cat (or even riding a big cat?).
Her thought balloon has Him in a business suit with a briefcase.
Snark's thought balloon has a fish with X eyes.
CW: 'I'll do what I can.'
Snark's Human: 'Oh, thank you!'

Panel 4: The Cat Whisperer is on all fours, his head under the couch. Snark is on the couch with an insane look in her eyes, about to leap on him.
CW: 'She'll come out. I can wait.'

Panel 5: Snark looks just the same as in panel 1. Her human and CW are parting, broken cartoon hearts everywhere. CWs entire body is bandaged up, making him resemble a mummy with a cowboy hat.
CW: 'She's all fixed up, ma'am.'
Snark's human: 'We'll be going, then…'

Panel 6: View from above left of a hatted man in silhouette on a hill, looking down at a car driving away on a curvy road. A balloon comes from the car.
Balloon: 'Meow!'
Caption: 'The End'